Mothers Day looks a little different when you have kids that didn't come from your tummy.
It's interesting how few people recognize that. Even the pastor at church on Sunday simply recognized those who had mothers alive...and those whose who'd passed away.
That makes it seem so clean and simple, doesn't it? But what about my kids?
What about Ezekiel, who's mom had to give him up because she couldn't keep him safe & couldn't feed him?
Yes, I am his mother. Obviously. My whole heart loves him as if I had birthed him myself.
But he's sad & angry with his biological mother. I'm not sure if he misses her. He only talks about missing his dad {who passed away}.
What about sweet little Imani who never knew her mother? We know nothing, literally nothing about her, aside from the town in which Imani was found at about a week old.
Mothers Day may not feel different for her now, but once she's older & begins to ask questions, I wouldn't be surprised if it becomes a bit of a sad day.
We really want to recognize the moms that have had such an impact on our little family. We wanted to honor Ezekiel's mom specifically, since we plan to travel back to Ethiopia when he's 16 with the hope to find his mom & sister Hannah.
{We'll honor Imani's birth-mother next year when she's a little older & understands more}
So we decided that every year, he'd write his mom a letter. I searched & searched online for something I could use. There are so many blogs with fun printables for Mothers Day.
But again...our situation is different. There's no diy or printable for this.
It's times like this that I wish I knew graphic design. How easy it it would be to make something if I did. But since I don't, I simply made this little card while he brainstormed what he'd tell her.
{front}
{back}
I bought a small photo album so every year, he's able to write to her.
God does keep his promises. He promises to give us a hope and a future, and both Ezekiel and Imani's mothers worked perfectly in the Lord's plan to help that happen.
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
Lets not forget about my sweet middle two.
Anton really wants to write Ezekiel's mom a letter, too.
When I inquired what he'd say in it, he replied:
"I'd tell her that she needs to come to America so she can learn America words. Because when we go see her in Ethiopia, we don't know Ethiopia words...and we want to talk to her."
And Laith. Sigh. Sweet "Crazy Crash." I think it doesn't even occur to him that Ezekiel and Imani have only been in our family for a little over a year.
Sometimes I briefly mention something about skin color, just to see their response. Curious if they're curious. They look at me like I'm a moron. "Who cares, mom?" Yep. Who cares.
Who cares how our family came to be? Who cares if some of my precious children didn't come from my tummy. But I know that there will be questions, there will be sad moments.
I know that this day is not all about me. It will never be.
And I'm ok with that.
TERESA
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2 comments:
It is so very interesting and so individual for each adopted child. For my sweet girl, she wants no part of talking about or remembering her mother. I could never ask her to write something as she would balk and truly, it would bring up so much pain for her. At this point (6.5 years in) that topic doesn't come up at all. Of course, for us...there wasn't anything sweet or kind about why D was given up and ended up in an orphanage. Her memories of birth mom are terrible ones - and only a few for sure. We've mentioned going back to her home land and she is terrified by that concept. I hope that E continues to feel at peace with honoring his birth mother and it's so wonderful that you can do that.
You're so right, Michelle. It's interesting how something can be such a big deal for one kid and nothing for another.
Sometimes I wish kids were more Cookie-Cutter and parenting were more of a "if this, then do that" kind of thing. It'd be so much easier, wouldn't it?
Glad it's not a sad day for D. Hopefully going forward, it's not too much of one for us, either.
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